do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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