Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
