...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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