Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
