Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
