wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
