perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
