I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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