This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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