dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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