I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
