I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
