Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
