With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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