Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
how drunk are you?
Several
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
