Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
