My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
