i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
