So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize