you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
BRING THE BAGELS
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
