This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
