where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
