I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
