Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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