At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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