My brain says no but my pants say off.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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