I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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