Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
