Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
