She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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