what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
