wrigley field is MILF paradise
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
As shirtless as possible
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
