Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they're like a gay fantastic four
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
