I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
