Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
