My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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