I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
