i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
