those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
