I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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