is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
3pm strippers are depressing
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
