I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
