2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
