sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
