Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
