How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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