I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
