oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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