U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize