I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
