S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
