Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
