i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
