Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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