Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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