Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
