I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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