i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
