i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
