You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
