I'm eating all of the evidence.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
