dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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