i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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