i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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