I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
