is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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