This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
