i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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