Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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