I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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